A Real Personal Update After A Dark Week In Bed

Last week was rough - I was really sick in bed for almost 6 days.

I just started to feel somewhat back to myself, so this week, I’ve honestly just been trying to get things back on track after a week of slowly dying and feeling sorry for myself.

I figured I’d use this newsletter as a way to reset - both for myself and for anyone else who might be feeling a little off-course.

Disclaimer alert: This newsletter has nothing to do with my business, but I guess I’m the person who’s running my business, so maybe it has everything to do with my business (ha)?

Alright, let’s get personal...

Being sick for a week threw me off more than I want to admit. And as much as I was very thankful to be able to rest in bed the entire time, it was a very dark week.

I started to feel like I was failing at everything and wouldn't be able to pull myself back on track. I didn't touch my computer all week and I wasn't able to attend my Valentine's Day pop-ups at J Flowers, which was a big bummer. I could go on for a long time about all the dark thoughts, but I'll spare you.

Instead of continuing to spiral, today I came back to my goals and priorities for the year to get some big-picture perspective. Hopefully, sharing them here will help me - and maybe even you - realign.

My main priorities for this year are to focus on my faith, my relationship with my husband and my health. And while I do have some specific goals that have come out of these priorities (this can be for another newsletter), I’ll share where I think I stand.

My Faith

It feels wrong to “rate” my faith, but if I’m being honest, I feel more distant from God than I’d like.  I usually have quiet time every morning where I read my bible and talk to God, but the truth is that I haven’t been doing that consistently over the past three-ish weeks. I don’t even know when or how I fell off track, but at some point, I let it slip, and my soul feels it.

The good news is that God never leaves us, and while we may turn away from Him for a moment or longer, He’s always there. And the even better news is that when we want to turn back to him, there’s absolutely no judgment or shame.

It makes me think of the story in the bible (I’m going to butcher this, but here we go) about the lost son. Basically, this dad has two sons and one decides to do his own thing (party, blow money, turn away from his family). He eventually realizes that nothing good is coming from his rebellious lifestyle (and he ran out of money) and decides to go back home to his dad to ask if he will take him back in.

You’d expect the father to be at least a bit disappointed in this son, but the exact opposite actually happens. The dad is just so happy to have his boy home and literally throws a party to welcome him back to the family. This story is meant to be an example of how God feels when we come back to him and I love it.

Well, I definitely didn’t plan to share a bible story in this newsletter, but here we are.

My Husband

This year, I realized that I pour so much time into learning and improving in so many areas of life, and that it can be easy to not invest intentional time into some of the most important things. I know a relationship takes work, so why wouldn’t I invest the time in one of my most important relationships?

All that to say, Lavon and I have been experimenting with two new things in our marriage that I think (and hopefully he does too lol) are working really well :).

The first is that we have a weekly family meeting where we talk about the important things (our finances, our goals, our challenges, etc.). It's allowed us to talk through and stay on the same page about the things that don't always get talked about in the regular day to day.

The second is that Lavon bought this book so we could write three things we love about each other on a daily basis. I know it sounds so cheesy... but it’s been flipping awesome and funny (Lavon’s got jokes). It truly makes me love him so much more, so I have to consider this one a big win.

It’s not all roses and butterflies, though. You should have seen our Valentine’s Day... he told me I looked like Yoda (my eyes were swollen from puking - sorry, TMI) and I rolled out of bed for the first time in 5 days to eat pizza on the other end of the couch. Every girl’s dream.

My Health

This one feels ironic to talk about after a very rough week, but that’s okay. I thought I’d summarize by sharing the wins and losses:

Wins:

• I was crushing my routine for the first month of the year (healthy eating, good sleep, regular activity, sauna/ice baths, reading, relationships and being out in nature)

• I have an amazing therapist who’s been helping me through a lot

• I found an exceptional new doctor for my endometriosis (FYI, I have endo)

• My husband has been very on top of his health, which has helped me with mine

• My dogs are the greatest example of unconditional love

• I have the best friends and family in the whole world

• YGTL is working (thanks to you)! And quitting my full-time job to do this business was heavily influenced by my health

Losses:

• I haven’t been to the gym in 3 weeks and won’t be able to for another few

• I got the sickest I’ve been in ages

• I feel a little dark and crazy mentally and far from my creative/thriving self

• I’ve been living off chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese

• I haven’t been able to sleep well in weeks (constantly getting up and not being able to fall back asleep)

But let’s end on a positive note - I feel much better after writing this.

I get so much value out of sharing this with you (which I did not expect) because it helps me see how good my wins are and how I know I can totally overcome the losses.

If you have made it this far, thank you for letting me ramble on and process where I am with you.

Next week, I’ll share a business update on where I’m at with my Q1 goals.

Thank you for being here. Your support means the world.